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Eliminate Your Illusions

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How many of you have illusions?  Not the kind that makes everyone think you are crazy but the ones you innocently build up in your mind?  Where we have taken a situation or a comment and built it into much more than it is by letting our subconscious mind run wild.

Here is an example of what I mean.  Let’s say, one day at work you receive a notice that your boss wants to talk to you later in the day.  This has never happened before and is totally unexpected so your curious grows. You don’t have the opportunity to find out the purpose for the meeting.  So what does your busy little mind do?  It starts working overtime.

Studies have shown that the majority of you will begin to wonder why he wants to meet.  Did you do something wrong? Is there something you might have said to someone else?   Your mind automatically starts reliving the past few weeks…or days trying to figure out what he might want to talk about.  You begin to imagine every reason he could have to call you into an unplanned meeting.  The longer you wait, the worse it gets and the more nervous you become.   Your vivid imagination may begin to work overtime and you might even become paralyzed with the thoughts of what you might have done wrong.  Some people even wonder get to the point that they believe they are going on warning or could lose their job.

My question is why did your thoughts go wild?  Where did those thoughts come from and why did they become so blown out of proportion?  And how did they make you feel?  Afraid? Worried?

What is it you must pay attention to here?   Your own inner dialog.   It wasn’t what the boss said…it was where your mind went within your own inner dialogue.  You have total control over your own inner dialogue WHEN you become aware of it.

I coach a couple who have a business together and one of their clients wasn’t responding to their text or emails.  I can tell you that they both went totally in the hole…thought they had done something and lost the client…they went through agony trying to figure out what they did and why she wouldn’t respond…she had been a client for years.  It turns out she was in Europe and her computer and phone both went haywire and she never received one of their messages.  But they had totally and completely worked themselves into an extremely agitated and anxious state for no reason at all.  It is double bad when two of you are feeding off each other and allowing your brain to run wild.

The secret is to change your inner dialogue. If you want rewarding and peaceful outcomes instead of frazzled, disrupted, anxiety…you need to become aware of and change your self-talk every single time it starts!   You need to catch it and stop it.

As you can see from the example…your thoughts start very innocently and then one thing leads to another and pretty soon they are out of control.  When was the last time you did that?

We create these illusions for many different reasons…sometimes it may be incorrect perceptions like the boss example…sometimes it may be from our belief systems…I’m not smart enough or good enough.  No matter where it starts, the key is these illusions cause us to become stuck in our lives.

It is really as simple as replacing these illusions with what you do want.  When you can see and acknowledge undesirable feelings and thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, feelings and what you do want…you can begin to change your life one baby step at a time.

When my clients get good at this process, I see a complete and total transformation.  They no longer get stuck in old ways of being and belief systems that take them into big holes.   As they shift the old natural negative, worry responses into positive emotional patterns, they begin to have more peace of mind, more joy, increased happiness and more clarity in your life!  It takes a real commitment to make it habit.  If you want to learn more, reach out to me for a free consultation or click here to join my low cost ($10/month) Loving Life Group Coaching program to learn these tools and change your life!

 

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